Mental Illness and Pregnancy

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Its almost 3 pm and I have been cleaning for four hours in preparation of the diaper party my boyfriend and I are throwing for ourselves. I’m 31 weeks pregnant. I take a break and put on some Eisley. Of course, the first song that plays is the anthem to the last year of my life. Its funny how a lyric can give you the confidence to push forward. As I listen to Smarter, I wonder how I got from an attempted suicide just last year to being a soon-to-be mama with such fluidity. My past sometimes makes me question my ability to be a parent. How can someone who once cared so little about herself decide to take on the task of creating new life? How can a woman who, since age 13, has struggled with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, insomnia and body dismorphia have a healthy pregnancy? My answer is complicated. Continue reading

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